Death

OK so first of all i hate punctuation i hardly use it you don't like it don't fucking read it. second i swear get over it yet again you don't like it don't fucking read it. So hear we go as some of you know im medically retired from the army i fucking hate it i would love to have a job right now yet alot of people including some family says oh hes just a lazy ass he can work, look if you don't know my whole story then shut your fucking mouth about face and drive on. i would love to work so it could get me away from sitting home on my ass and going completely more insane then i already am. Oh and FYI if you say you wish you were retired i give you a fucking week before you wanna go back to work. So your probably asking yourself what the fuck does this have to do with death it has everything to do with it. I was sitting on my couch the other day thinking about the sand box(Iraq) and how i was full of fear but fearless at the same time. How when i was on the gun i new the four people underneath me would die for me and i the same. Those who have been know what im talking about. I feel like Ive turned into a complete bitch im scared everyday of dieing, but when i was in Iraq i made my peace an here's kevee afraid to go do shit that regular people enjoy because for example having a heart attack at the age of 26 or swallowing pesticide on accident from the dog and foaming from the mouth.i guess my problem is i worry about to much shit and im not living life like i should. Sometimes i feel like i should be sky diving in the Caribbean or grab in the bull by the horns. but wait there could be other reasons like i have to see two fucking shrinks that say how are you feeling today here is some more pills fuck off im done with the pills or maybe its people telling me how to live my life instead of me enjoying it. and if your thinking im talking about ya that probably gives you a clue to stop let me live my life. Oh and please i don't want you to feel sorry or feel pity for me that's the last thing i want, i just would love people to understand the simple things in life like i would love to bitch that my day at work sucked ass or the bitch in the other cubical smells like rotted ass. But that is my bitch session of the day